Why! It’s So Tough!

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I have been having a hard time. For some time now, life has been tough. My depression has been in overdrive and panic attacks hitting more often. It is just so TOUGH! My mind races with thoughts and ideas. Worrying about everything.

Most days I feel like I am in the middle of a mine field, waiting for an explosion at every step. Not sure how it will happen or what the effects will be. Constant worrying and trying to figure out how to stop it and correct it. How to change what is happening. How to bring joy and peace.

My depression takes such a horrible grip and just keeps such sad and hopeless thoughts raising through my mind. I just have this constant sad outlook. But, I put a smile on, laugh and push through the day. Then…. My chest starts pound, I feel this pain my chest. On no.. here it is. Is this a panic attack or a heart attack. Deep breaths! Slow and deep, trying to focus on my breath.

Eventually it goes away. I make another doctor appointment and verify it was just a panic attack… just…. yea..

I was talking to my friend and she said a few things that really hit me. We all have so many battles going on, we have to fight to get through. We put on a fake front so people don’t know. We can make a difference. We do recover!

It’s 2018! Here is what I am thinking right now!

What the whole video from Bipolar Barbie here and follow her.  Thanks for the inspiration!

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